Can't Keep It In: Ridiculous Names, Public Self-Control, and Private Judgment

About Christina

I was rudely awoken at the crack of dawn the other morning not by an adorable baby, my usual rude awakener, but rather by a crow fight out on our bedroom's balcony. "Fucking corvids," I muttered to myself, as I began to worry about whether their thumping and cawing would awaken the baby. It then occurred to me that "Corvid" sounds like a newfangled baby name and, instead of sleeping, started to think of other names to join it. Thus, I give you a list of names that you can name your child that I will laugh at behind your back. Enjoy! I know I will!


"Excuse me, Ma'am? Your child just shat on my car."


"Excuse me, Ma'am? Your little Corvid just tried to eat my little Carrion."


Sadly, others have beat me to this idea.