Product Review: All Hail Princess Sticker Face!

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Last Christmas, the Smartlings received twin gifts of sticker pads hilariously called Princess Sticker Face from their grandparents. The premise is basic: each pad comes with a selection of featureless princess portraits onto which your Smartling places a variety of provided eyes, eyebrows, mouths, jewelry, and accessories. It is simple, it is entertaining, and, at times, it is terrifying.

For example, before decoration what you have is a blank face reminiscent of this scene from The Twilight Zone movie, which scared the living shit out of me when I was a kid.

"This is Sarah. She was in an accident." *shudder*

Once the Princesses Sticker Face are, um, sticker-faced, they aren't any less frightening. This is especially true when the princesses are en masse.

This gallery of horrors is on the Smartlings' closet door. It is horribly reminiscent of another childhood cinematic trauma, the terrible screaming heads of Return to Oz...

Aside to my parents: Who, exactly, was overseeing my childhood movie choices? Christ.

... and sometimes of Sloth from The Goonies (I'm looking at you, lopsided topside princess!).

Serious parenting question: What would you do if your kid brought home Sloth and was all "Can I keep him, Ma? Can I?"

But, truthfully, not all Princess Sticker Face creations are awful. Look at this one! It's a great homage to Jaime Pressly!

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But the best thing about Princess Sticker Face creations (as Shannon, Danica, and other lucky buddies can attest) is the way you can personalize them with terrifying comments then mail them anonymously to your friends! Look out, Smarties! If I have your address, this one may be coming to you!

Sadly, it appears that the actual Princess Sticker Face is no longer in print. But these fine, less-well-named options are widely available. I highly recommend that you buy them for your Smartlings' amusement and for your own!

Melissa & Doug Make-a-Face, Princess-themed

Melissa & Doug Make-a-Face, Crazy Characters

Wacky Faces Picture Sticker Book